You’RE AmazingLY Strong.
What I write is not to teach you anything. There is no guidance or advice. I write about my experiences or I write about my thoughts or I write about what I feel, think, believe deep down inside. I do this so that if you relate to whatever I’m writing, then maybe you’ll realise that you too have everything you need within.
I wanted to think of a title that would catch your attention. Hopefully this one did! It may have repelled you into thinking, “How does she know? She doesn’t even know me?” The other end of the pendulum is that you may have thought, “Finally, the reassurance I’ve been waiting for.” Then there are a bazillion of thoughts in the middle.
Regardless, I know that you’ve got this.
I’ll tell you why.
It’s because of all the hardship and pain that I have had along the way of this journey called life, I got to a point where I was able to have my own back. So, if I’ve got this, you’ve got this too. Why? We are both human and the likelihood that you’re reading this means that we most likely have something in common. Not everything. Maybe not even this, but something. That’s just how the world works.
I came into teaching and coaching wanting to make a difference.
I came into teaching and coaching so that people didn’t have to feel the pain that I felt and was still feeling. Instead of feeling my own feelings around this, I wanted to assist others to not be like me.
I also came into teaching and coaching with the unconscious belief that I didn’t matter. It ran my life without me even knowing it. I know it now and when that belief crops up, which it does, I have a very different relationship with it. In the past, I didn't know about this belief, it wasn’t in my awareness so it ran my life. Now that I know about it, one of the many things that I do is acknowledge this belief and the feelings that go with it. I’m aware. That’s the first step in it not 100% running my life like it did before.
Without going into all the detail, that belief ran 100% of my life to 50% and now it is many 25%. The thing is, the intensity of this belief has lessened so much. I have fun with those thoughts now.
When I am thinking amazing, expansive thoughts and then find myself being judgemental, critical or passive aggressive to myself or thinking about others, I now have a little giggle to myself and unpack were this thought came from.
Here’s the thing. I know what it is like to long for something that I don’t have. Those results, the comparison I make with others and the negative beliefs that come with it.
I’ve had the incredible journey of going from a victim to being grateful for everything in my life. I don’t look for the easy way out anymore. The easiest way out is through comparison - everyone else being smarted, gifted, stronger, more talented, from better genes, than me.
I’ve been able to change my health, my relationships, my lifestyle by changing my thinking and feeling my feelings.
When clients cry, it gives me strength to do the same in my life.
When clients are honest, it gives me the courage to be honest within my life.
When clients are brave, it ignites my own braveness.
I’m sorry to say that applying what you learnt in eduction will not help you when living the rest of your life. Unlearning is the new program of life and remembering who you were when you came into this world, the amazingness that you already are.
I celebrate with you your wins and your hardships.
I bought into the facade of the self-help movement’s claim that if you “worked” on yourself that the pain would go away forever.
Not true. It never was and it never will be. It’s just an indicator of how much pain I was in to believe that. It’s not about making the self-help movement the ‘bad-y’ either because I got a lot of great stuff out of it too.
The journey taught me -
Life is about feeling my feelings,
Everything I need I already have,
I can’t heal others until I heal myself…
I am grateful for the adversity (crap) in my life. I also love the parts of me that are still struggling.
This is one of the many reasons why I am a successful coach/teacher. I have my own coach too. In the world we live in and as it becomes a better place, we all need a coach, teacher, mentor to assist us in remembering who we are, how we want to serve.
That person may not be me. Everybody needs someone… who is family or a friend. Those people mean well but they are not right for the job. Not even a friend who is a coach. lol.
The fact is that we always practise what we’re good at and we don’t give the time or the space towards things that we aren’t good at or don’t have success in. That’s the collective way of doing things. It doesn’t mean that it’s the only way, it’s just the most common way that’s been followed.
The things is, everyone is great at something, good at something else and struggles with another. A defeatist thought is that it isn’t worth focussing on what you’re not good at. The expansive thought is that when you focus on the area in you life that isn’t the best, it will get better and over time even improve to mastery. That’s for sure! Even more, it is possible to use expansive thinking to have a well-rounded existence in ALL areas of your life. Yet, the most common thinking is that it can’t happen. It can. It true can.