The GIFT OF SHAME
What I write is not to teach you anything. There is no guidance or advice. I write about my experiences or I write about my thoughts or I write about what I feel, think, believe deep down inside. I do this so that if you relate to whatever I’m writing, then maybe you’ll realise that you too have everything you need within.
Shame is my inheritance.
It is a part of my lineage.
I was born from shame and it lives inside of me.
As one of my most intimate friends, I call upon it’s gift.
Shame is a protector part. It means well. It wants to keep you safe from the abandonment pain of your childhood horrors. We all want to connect to the people who are unable to connect with us the most, our parents.
It’s not their fault. One generation after another following the same repetitive pattern.
Unknowingly.
I stand beside shame and love it with all my heart.
I hold my energy as it tells me it’s deepest darkest secrets.
“Nothing will ever stop me loving you,” I say.
It’s time to release yourself from all the distorted projections on yourself and now others. In the beginning, shame protects you, in the end it disconnects you from everything.
So, I ask the shame within me, if you could do something different, what would it be?
At first, it says nothing for shame doesn’t like to speak. It’s defence is to keep everything internal.
So, to help shame heal, I have people I trust bear witness to my deepest darkest secrets. The same secrets that my ancestors carried, no doubt, just a different version based on the time that I live in.
As the shackles of shame begin to release, I let it know that I’m not getting rid of it.
“Yes I know that there is a trend at the moment to get rid of things like egos and unwanted feelings. All feeling and egos are welcome here inside of me. You get to be ‘you’ whatever that looks like.”
As the shame within me heals, my thoughts, attitudes and beliefs begin to shift and soften. The judgement of myself wanes with the moon. My judgement of others lets go.
I see people for who they truly are. I see their light only because I have connected with mine.
Again I ask the question of shame, “What would you like to be doing instead of protecting me which has lead to a disconnection to life itself?”
A trend of many including my ancestors.
I hold the energy with kindness and love with no expectation.
The shame speaks, softly yet with great conviction.
“I want to cheer you on,” it says and so this part of me, my once protector, tells me,
“You’ve got this.”
… and that I indeed do